CacheCrazy.Com: The Geocachers of Children's Television

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Geocachers of Children's Television

Running on the treadmill is boring.  To make it a bit less cumbersome, our treadmill is plopped firmly in front of the TV.  So while trotting away the other day, I had some VH1 Classic cranking.  Fun stuff - they were playing all the cool videos from the 1980s.  (I could run all day with Eddie on guitar, so keep the Van Halen coming, VH1…)  All was fine and well until the kids decided they wanted to watch one of their shows.  I was ready to balk, but they had earned it.  Fortunately they picked one of the good ones.  Some of these kids’ shows are flat-out stupid.  While I was coming up with a list of shows I’d like to ban from our television, it got me to thinking that some of these characters would make pretty good geocachers.  Conversely, others wouldn’t have a prayer.  So I present to you the following lists…

Dodger’s List of the Finest Geocachers of Kids’ Television

The Fresh Beat Band – I love these guys.  They’re all polite, well-spoken kids.  My favorite is Twist.  What a character.  Anyway, the Fresh Beat Band is four friends that go to school together.  They generally find their way into some tame mischief, work together to solve the problem, and then break out into celebratory song.  It’s pretty good stuff.  They can be a part of the DLC posse anytime.  We could always use a cool tune to go along with our Found It smiley.  Fresh Beat Band, you’re DLC-approved geocachers!

Team UmiZoomi – “I can show you anything, on my belly belly belly screen - Taxi!  Skyscraper!  Traffic Light!"  And he hits that “Traffic Light” with this righteous hard rock snarl.  So awesome.  Team UmiZoomi is a brother-sister duo and their robot named – get this – Bot.  Like the Fresh Beat Band, they like to sing.  They’re also a bunch of math geniuses and the robot, besides his belly belly screen, has a couple of other handy superpowers – he can extend his arms and legs!  Hmm.  Tricky puzzle caches?  Some tough terrain?  A cache just out of reach?  And if you lose satellite reception or your batteries die, no problem!  Bot will show you the way on his belly belly screen.  You can cache with me any day, Team UmiZoomi!

And finally…

Dora the Explorer – OMG.  This.  Kid.  Is.  Cool.  Just let me give you a rundown of some of the tomfoolery this kid gets into.  She visits Coney Island.   Rides a raft over a waterfall.  Fights an evil witch.  Gets caught in thunderstorms.  Climbs Snowy Mountain.  Hops trains.  Explores a gooey geyser.  Goes to the North Pole.  Fends off a grumpy troll.  Finds herself mired in quicksand.  Rockets to outer space...  There’s no question – I’d take this kid over that survival guy Bear any day of the week.  Keep in mind, Dora does all this stuff WITHOUT PARENTAL SUPERVISION.  Her only companion is a silly monkey, and it seems to me he causes more trouble than he solves.  My word, Coney Island?  The North Pole??  Space Travel???  Dora NEVER panics.  This kid has ice water in her veins.  Geez, this kid’s arch-nemesis is a rabid fox for crying out loud!  She is ultimately prepared with her backpack, which is loaded up with things and knick-knacks.  Bet you 50 cents there’s a GPS in there!  All kinds of adventure, and you get to learn a little Spanish, too.  Dora is my first-round pick for my geocaching team!

And now those that will have to work a lot harder to earn a spot on my geocaching team…

Dodger’s List of the Worst Geocachers of Kids’ Television

Yo Gabba Gabba – DJ Lance calls himself a DJ, but he looks like a cross between a drum major, The Greatest American Hero, and some half-@$$ed astronaut.  He’s also got this gang of strange monsters/animals/I-don’t-even know.  I can live with all that, but these guys have the worst, most monotonous songs.  “Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food.  Try new food…”  AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Stay away from me, Yo Gabba Gabba!

Go, Diego, Go – Diego is Dora the Explorer’s hyper cousin that's always just on the edge of freaking out.  I guess running an “animal rescue center” would be pretty stressful, especially for an 8-year old, but Diego doesn’t even come close to his cousin’s coolness.  One of these days Diego is going to lose it.  I don’t want it to be on my watch on some geocaching outing.  Sorry, D.  You best stay with the animals.  No geocaching for you.

Sponge Head Square Head – Oh boy, here comes the hate mail.  Oh well.  Look, the problem with Sponge Pants Square Tom is two-fold.  One – I can never remember his name.  Two – whatever his name is, it’s too freakin’ long.  “Bob Squared Sponge Pants” – Imagine signing a geocaching logbook with such a long handle.  It’s like, I don’t know, Dodger Lizard Crew.  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!  Can you imagine that??  The only use I can see for having Lunch Box Square Pants on a geocache outing is that maybe I could use him for swag, but that’d be pretty weak.  I’m keeping you at home, Sponge Square, so I can use you to scrub my pans.

And finally...

Caillou - Spoiled and whiny.  Yeah, just what I want when enjoying a day of geocaching.  Sorry, Calliou, but until you toughen up, you’re going to have to stay home with your “Mummy and Duddy”. 

(Now Calliou’s mother is a different story – anybody that wears overalls 24/7 is a practical person and is probably a good geocacher.)

There you have it, folks.

Wow –all this from 30 minutes on the treadmill.

What say you???




I LOVE THIS POST and I want to comment but, I'm not sure what to say!!!

Excellent creativity, well written and all that great stuff! Thanks!
In my day watching kids shows with my guys, you would have to deal with the likes of one large purple dinosaur (Barney of course), four Teletubbies (that looked like a living GPSr now that I think about it) and The Wiggles.
I think you have the beginning stages of cachecrazy cabin fever. We better plan a caching adventure this weekend!

Erika Jean said...

The Fresh Beat Band went downhill when they change Marina! I was devastated.

Debbie DeBaeremaeker said...

I am so with you about Dora!! she would be awesome.

also- totally with you on all the non cachers!

Dave DeBaeremaeker said...

Dora is awesome. Zeke loves yelling "Map!", and picking out which items from her pack to use. Its great fun. Dora is a great role model.

I am personally happy to never see Gabba again. What a bunch of drivel that is.

Kim@Snug Harbor said...

I love sponge bob!

sarah saad said...

شركة نقل اثاث بالدمام
شركة نقل اثاث بنجران
شركة نقل اثاث بخميس مشيط

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comments, you mean a lot to us at CacheCrazy.Com!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...