CacheCrazy.Com: The Best of CacheCrazy.Com - Crystal Cabin Fever

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Best of CacheCrazy.Com - Crystal Cabin Fever

It all started with the two feet of snow and ice on the roof of the house. Actually, it probably started back in December. That was the beginning of three months of real winter weather complete with single digit temperatures. The roof situation just brought it to a head…

Being ever-observant, I showed my wife the ice dam forming in front of the sliding door. “Look,” I told her, “The snow is melting off the roof and re-freezing on the porch. I’m going up to the roof to shovel it off so that doesn’t happen any more.” This plan-of-attack did not please my wife since the roof was probably more ice than snow at this point.

“You’re going to fall,” she told me.

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I am not! Now I’m going to crawl out the bedroom window. When I get out there, I need you to pass me the step ladder up onto the porch roof so I can use it to climb up onto the second story.”

As I stood on the roof and she passed me the ladder, it was with some anger that she told me, “I can’t believe you’re on that roof now. You’re going to fall. This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done!” I stopped right there. I could not believe what I heard. The dumbest thing I had ever done? With equal anger and, oddly enough, a great deal of pride, I responded, “It is not! I’ve done plenty of things dumber than this!” She stomped back into the house and I went about the task at hand.

I finished up the job with little trouble, having slid to the edge of the roof only one time (although my wife doesn’t need to know about that). The scolding didn’t stop, though, when I entered the kitchen. I was accused of “taking unnecessary risks” and “making work” because I was “nothing more than bored”. It’s funny, too, how the three of them get this ‘girl power’ thing going because my two daughters also gave me the stare-down. Begrudgingly, I had to admit there was an element of truth in all this, and that’s when it hit me. The winter was taking its toll on more than just the house roof…

The Dodger Lizard Crew had cabin fever. We needed a fun family winter outing.

As if it was meant to be, a commercial came on television at that exact moment advertising an event up in Hamlin appropriately called “Crystal Cabin Fever”. It featured ice carvings, an ice slide, a professional ice carving contest, and free refreshments. The family put on some winter clothes and hopped in the car. Yes, this was the remedy we needed! Don’t fight winter, embrace it! We were on our way to Crystal Cabin Fever!

The event was very well run. There was an entire barn filled with ice carvings of a Wild West theme. It was pretty amazing – cowboys, horses, a saloon, a gold mine – all made of ice. The kids had a ball on the ice slide, there was a big campfire outside, and the youngsters could even take a pony ride and see the animals in the petting zoo. 
 "There's gold in them there hills!"

All of this was great fun, but the real thrill for me was watching the ice carving contest. I stood mesmerized as the ordinary and plain blocks of ice were transformed into unique and intricate works of art. One carver created a life-sized gunslinger. Another artist assembled a gang of wild stallions into some sort of totem pole. Still another was working on an eagle in full flight. My two favorites involved snakes – one was of a bucking horse spooked by a rattlesnake and the other was a full-scale carving of a rattlesnake crawling out of a cowboy boot.

"There's a snake in my boot!"

"Easy, Trigger!"

Later that evening as we drove home, the kids happily asleep with bellies full of hot cocoa, I shared with my wife my latest inspiration. “Tomorrow I’m going to do an ice carving for our front yard,” I told her. With a sigh she replied, “So you haven’t gotten it out of your system yet. OK, what are you going to carve?” I thought for a moment and responded, “Something elaborate. Maybe a dragon rising out of a pool of fire and blood.” I got that raised eyebrow look and this response – “Well, I don’t know about the dragon, but I’m sure you’ll have no trouble with the blood.” Hardy har har.

Apparently my wife wasn’t over the winter blues either. No matter. Nothing a magnificent sculpture couldn’t fix…

The next day I decided that the stump of a tree I had recently cut down would serve as a more favorable and permanent medium than ice. I also re-thought the dragon idea and settled on a bear as my subject of choice. Yes, a large, fat, ferocious bear! I headed outside with my chainsaw and a great deal of confidence. Gingerly I made the first cut and stood back to size up my masterpiece. I noticed that my bear was now going to have to be much shorter than I originally planned. After the second cut, I realized that he wasn’t going to be so fat either. OK, no sweat. A short, cute, and cuddly bear cub was better than big, fat, and ferocious anyway. After three cuts, I started to re-think the whole bear idea all together. Maybe something more on the level of ‘novice’ was in order. I made the fourth cut into what was now going to be a cactus. After the fifth cut, I concluded that we didn’t have enough firewood anyway…

I put my tools away and humbly walked into the house. When my wife innocently asked me how the carving was going, I snapped, “Hey, at least there’s no more snow on the roof!” When we both busted out laughing, it was then that we both realized something –

It had been a pretty fun weekend, and our cabin fever was officially cured.
My magnum opus

1 comments:

smithie23 said...

“It is not! I’ve done plenty of things dumber than this!” I need to tuck this away in my memory for future use.

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